Things I have learned from watching “Return of the Jedi”
Posted in Laughing on December 31st, 2004 by Tony – Be the first to commentBeing frozen in carbonite will make you blind.
A Green Lightsaber means you are good. A Red one means you are evil.
Getting really pissed at your father is enough to overcome his power, and bring him to the point of destruction.
Evil makes your face really age badly, and you end up looking like a tired lizard.
Even though your father has cut off your hand, and has encouraged you to go evil (“To the Dark Side”), you can still count on him in the end.
All you need to blow up the Death Star is 5 ships. Tiny ships. Single pilot ships.
If you’re in one of those tiny ships, you can tell instantly what is the outcome of every dogfight around you.
Ewoks might look light tiny Wookies, but they really just suck.
You can take down a huge Super Star Destroyer with a well-placed, single-ship crash.
You can drag a limp Darth Vader all through the Death Star with nobody bothering you.
Vader without his mask looks like a pudgy, pale Uncle Fester. An Uncle Fester that has some serious skin problems.
Leia looks really hot in slave attire.